Recently i feel like ive been trapped in a cycle. I keep looking for happiness in school and relationships only for them to fall short to my expectations every time. Yknow and I can quit doing the things I deem wrong in my life only for me to shortly pick it up again a few weeks later. Its maddening wheather its people or subsatnces they always find a way of circling back into my norm and I dont know how to break it. Maybe I cant, maybe this is who im doomed to be. Either way that doesnt change the torment of these cycles. Maybe its me though that traps myself maybe I dont trust others as much as I should. I tell myself everyone has sinister intention but maybe they dont maybe its all in my head.